Friday, April 2, 2010

What I am up to in this world..

I would like to share with you all what I am out to create in this world and why I am taking the powerful stand that I am.

Much of my life was spent having one or the other of my parents sick that included tension in the family and a couple major moves thrown in there when I was 13 and 16. I remember of my own accord slowly but surely giving up my passions to focus on what was happening in my family. I was always the little helper and I wanted nothing more than to help make things easier or even fix them. By the time I was in my mid twenties, I had a good job that paid me well that also required a significant amount of my time. My mom (she has Multiple Sclerosis) was also well on her way to being completely paralyzed. It took its toll on me in many areas of my life but mainly any time she would go into the hospital it would send me into a huge breakdown effecting my work, my relationships and my well being. I was being angry, sad, resentful of the situation, and helpless most of the time.

The turning point came when I was living in Canada for work for a year and my mom ended up in the hospital yet again. This turned into one of the biggest breakdowns I had about her illness. I spent a couple weeks crying all the time and not getting any of my work done. My bosses started to notice. I was walking around in a fog of depression. One of my bosses came into town shortly after and we went to lunch and naturally this came up. I was essentially told that I needed to set everything aside because we all have things happen in our lives and I am on the management team now. Don't get me wrong, I did need to set all of it aside but at that moment I realized I needed to and had to make a change in my life for my sanity, health and relationship with my family and others. With in 1 year I made one of the toughest decisions and I left. I left a job that was stable, paid me really well, and I enjoyed the people I worked with. I knew, however, that I was being called to something bigger.

Let's fast forward to today. As I sit here and write and think about where I was in my life even a year ago, I am amazed. I don't even recognize that person that I just wrote about. Through many different types of transformational work and the support of many many people in my life, I have been able to turn my life completely around. The biggest of those is how I am with my mother's illness. There are still some rough days but the angry, sad, resentful, and helpless me is a way of yesterday. Today I am able to handle it with power and grace and the most amazing one - relatedness to my mother. Instead of trying to fix her, or think something is wrong, or tell her how she "should be," I see her as whole, perfect and complete. How could she feel any other way than how she feels? The other day I was at dinner with a friend and she looked at me and said, "You are really at peace with your mom's illness, aren't you?" Wow. I am!! I am! I am!! It's like the train has arrived at it's destination! And the best part is that I have my mom back again. She is finally my mom to me again which I haven't let her be for years.

That same friend that acknowledged my peacefulness also told me that I needed to embrace the possibility of helping others in similar situations, situations that are difficult transitions. My sign and confirmation of this showed up shortly after this conversation on a trash can in New York City that said - "What are you doing to move it for MS?" I finally saw, literally, that my calling is to help people just like my family and to stand for their transformation of the difficult situations that we all experience in life. I obviously have a particular passion for those families that are dealing with MS.

I am out to create a world where families and individuals are empowered regardless of a disease. Where mother's and father's do not have to worry about how it will effect their children, and where children will not have to have their hearts broken seeing their parents lose their power. Like many say including Montel Williams, "I may have the disease, but the disease does not have me." I am passionate that all people dealing with these types of situations will be able to transform the experience into an empowered context and not stay stuck in the victim context. We all are here for a purpose, some more difficult than others, but those are the ones that are designed to really teach us and transform us and make this world a better place.

Won't you join me on this journey of freedom, power and love?

Until next time, I love you all!!


P.S. My world is starting with my family

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The Transformed You = A Transformed World

When you are transformed the world around you cannot help but be transformed too. If I were a bettin’ gal I would guess right now you are thinking something along the lines of, “that is all fine and good and I know that, but I am the way I am and can’t possibly transform myself- I’ve tried!”

Does that belief really inspire you? I would probably guess no.

How would you like to create something inspiring in place of that old belief? Here’s the skinny on how to do just that and get on the road to a brand new and transformed YOU!

1. The voices in your head: Here is a secret – it’s NOT YOU! That is what we call your ego, or what I like to call your Negative Nelly/Ned. All there is to do is acknowledge those thoughts as they come up, get that they are not you, and let them go. Every time you hear those voices just say, “thanks Nelly/Ned for the input and have a nice day.”

2. Who are you going to be for the world?: The old way isn’t working right? So try something new! Next time Nelly/Ned is rambling on, take over and pick a new way to be. For example, if you are being stressed and worried you could ask yourself, “how would I be if I were being more care-free?” Viola! You will be a new way. Try it!

3. Creating new beliefs: I would like to introduce Positive Polly/Piper. By creating daily affirmations around how amazing and wonderful you are and telling yourself these affirmations consistently every day, you will find Nelly/Ned doesn’t come to visit as often. Now take a minute and notice what Nelly/Ned just told you. They probably are not being nice – it’s ok they like to fib. The truth is that you really are whole, perfect and complete!

Life is not meant to be so darn difficult. We do it to ourselves and when we try out new ways, stick with it and have accountability to it, it absolutely is possible to be transformed! And the icing on the cake – when you transform yourself the WHOLE world around you is transformed and impacted in big ways. You are that powerful! I promise.

If you would like to learn more on transforming your life and how it is possible, please contact me!

Lots of hugs and giggles!


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

What would the world be like if we all kept our word 100% of the time?

Every time someone breaks their word it effects somebody somewhere and it lets them down in some way. That somebody may be a client, a friend, your significant other, a co worker or more often then not that somebody is YOU. The promise you gave could have been a big promise like "I will help fund your new business," or it could be a small promise like "I will call you back in 30 minutes." Either way when you give your word, you make a promise. You promise to be someone for that person and you promise to honor what you say. Take a moment and think of someone in your life that doesn't keep there word. How does it make you feel? How do you think it truly makes them feel?

Now the bigger question. Do YOU want to be known as a person that keeps their word or one that can not be counted on? I bet I know the answer. You want to be a person of your word! I know I do! Let's look at three ways to keep your word.

1. Do what you say you will do and do what you know to do. If you promise someone that you will do something. Do it! Now when it gets to that day or time and you don't feel like doing it, do it anyway. Also, do the things you know to do even if you didn't say you would do it.

2. Don't make promises you know you can't keep. We have all heard the saying, "under promise and over deliver." There really is something to this. So the next time you need to deliver on something, be reasonable. Don't say something to please someone because you think that is what they want to hear. You will gain much more respect by being truthful and delivering when you say you will.

3. Communicate!! Re-promise ONLY when necessary. It is important not to use this one too much. But if the time comes and you realize you can not do what you said you would do, get in communication immediately and make a new promise that you know for sure you can deliver on.

As I am sure you are starting to gather, when you become a person of your word it empowers you and everyone around you. You create stronger relationships in every aspect of your life and life gets simpler. You also become a person of influence and begin to change your community because you are change. Pretty powerful stuff huh? All by just doing what you said you would do and doing what you know to do.

If you would like to learn more about being in integrity and a person of your word, please contact me! I would be honored to partner with you to hold you accountable to what you say you will do.

With Love! Freedom! Power!


Friday, March 5, 2010

Sayin' it straight

Have you ever noticed how many times you don't say something because you fear the persons reaction, don't want to deal with "conflict", don't want to sound stupid, don't want to sound rude or offend someone, or just don't think anyone cares what you have to say? The excuses can go on endlessly. But all it goes back to is us simply being inauthentic and making the decision that we "just know how they will react."

What I challenge you to look at is that we CREATE all of that. Yes, we create the outcome of every conversation and reaction - even of others. Pretty crazy huh? Think about it, if you go home knowing you have to have a serious discussion regarding something and you tell yourself that you know how the other person is going to react, don't they almost always react that way? It is not because that is just how they are, you are creating it! You are either making yourself wrong, making a decision about them, making a decision for them or have a need to be right.

Next time you have to have a serious conversation or find yourself wanting to say something you just don't think you should say - Just say it coming from a place of authenticity. Let go of all that chatter in your mind saying, they will think I am stupid, they will get mad, they won't like me, they will be offended, I need to prove a point blah blah BLAH. Give it ALL up! You will be astounded by your results!!

So this week give it a try. Be powerful in your communication, give up being right, give up others liking you and BE YOU! We are all unique and beautiful. OH and the best part is we are ALL WHOLE, PERFECT AND COMPLETE!!! Please share how it goes.

I love you all!! Big hugs and kisses!!



Friday, January 22, 2010

Making Your Goals Happen!

Hello my friends,

2010 is in full swing and have you set your goals yet?? We all have some type of goals that we have for ourselves. Maybe it is to lose weight, get a new car, find a new job, buy a home, write a book, learn Spanish etc. We all have them in some form.

How often do we actually accomplish our goals? We may start out nice and strong for the first couple weeks of the year then something derails us and we never really get back on track.

Here are a few quick tips to help you accomplish those goals:

1. Write them down - Writing down your goals sends a message out to the Universe that you are serious about accomplishing your goals.

2. Set Completion Dates - Next to each goal write down a date and TIME that you will complete the goal by. Adding the date and time makes that intention with the Universe even stronger. You begin immediately attracting your goal!

3. Make them visible - Put them in a place that you will see them every day. I was talking with someone yesterday that said she carries around a notebook with her goals in that she looks at daily. This is a great idea! You could also do things like hang them on the fridge, or on the mirror. You can even get creative and do things like hang pictures above your bed of $100,000 if your goal is to make that amount this year. Get creative! Live your dreams and goals!

4. Accountability Partner- Find someone that is going to hold you accountable to your goals. I recommend someone that is not super close to you that would allow you to sluff or let you justify it if you do. It could be someone like a Life Coach, Personal Trainer, Mentor, etc. Set up times to touch base with them weekly or multiple times weekly if needed.

5. Keep going - If you get off track for a bit, do not let that discourage you. Don't make yourself wrong. Just get back up and keep going! You can accomplish anything you set your mind on! I promise!

I read in The Success Principles by Jack Canfield that when you do some of the items above and make your goals a part of your daily life your mind will begin finding the ways to get you there. It may not always be the way you anticipated, but you will get there. It's similar to when you buy something you start noticing all of a sudden everyone else that has it too.

What are your goals? I would love to hear and help support you in accomplishing those goals and making 2010 the best year yet!

Love! Freedom! Power!


Kat Kirkwood
Life Coach
Ph: 214.422.4695

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

'Tis the Season!

We are full swing into the holidays complete with Christmas/Holiday parties, shopping, meal planning, travel arrangements, cooking, entertaining, decorating, volunteering, giving etc. Whew! I am exhausted thinking about it! It's no wonder many people find themselves overwhelmed and frustrated with feeling like there is not enough time, not enough money, not enough energy or some variation of these. In reality we create our holiday experience and whether it will be enjoyable or exhausting.

Here are a few simple steps to getting rid of that exhausted feeling caused by the holidays.

1. Make a to-do list - Make a list of all the things you think you need to do. Now cross off all the things you think you SHOULD do. If you are doing them because you think you SHOULD do them, then you don't NEED to do them. Get rid of unnecessary obligations that you have committed to that you just don't have time for.

2. Simplify - Look at your paired down list and determine where you can simplify. Can you pay to have the presents wrapped? Can you have the groceries delivered? Can you delegate? Can you consolidate trips to the mall? Can you pay someone to clean the house? We have the tendency to think we have to do everything ourselves. This is simply a lie. When you start to ask for help you will be amazed how much more gets done.

3. RELAX! - Create time in your schedule just to relax and look at Christmas lights or drink hot chocolate or watch a Christmas movie with your family or loved ones. Most important during the holidays is to stop long enough to enjoy it. So what if you don't go get those new place mats you think would look great with the place settings? Or go get those extra stocking stuffers? Or make that extra pie? Ask yourself if that stress and time is more important then enjoying your time with your family or loved ones.

Wishing you all the happiest of holiday seasons! Enjoy it!!

Love! Freedom! Power!


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

During this Thanksgiving season I am thankful for....

It seems appropriate this week to have a blog about all that I am thankful for. Oh where to begin, where to begin?

I am thankful for my family, my puppy, my health, my wonderful boyfriend, my friends, pedi's, walks outside, food on the table, a roof over my head, chocolate, ice cream, pei wei, a good book, fun, intriguing conversation, a cozy fire, soft pillows, comfy blankets, sweet dreams... I will spare you from the entire list hehe. There is sooo much to be thankful for this holiday season. It is very easy to take for granted all that we have been blessed with. What are you thankful for this season?

The universe is a funny place. By being thankful for all that you have (even the stuff you don't like so much), you create abundance for yourself. You attract more to be thankful for. I read in a book recently where the author actually kisses her bills as she seals them and says thanks for them. Woa. I don't know about you, but I have never been a fan of bills! They take up my time and my money! When I stopped to think about this, it all made sense. If I show appreciation for even those things that I am not fond of, I will create room for more to be thankful for because I will be creating energy for things that are "good."

This brings me to something that I never thought I would find in my soul to be thankful for - my parents illnesses. Even as I write the word thankful, the thought occurs to me that it still doesn't exactly make sense that I get it now and can have appreciation for it but I do. I just do and it feels so amazingly freeing.

I had a conversation not too long ago with my sister in law about how my childhood maybe wasn't "ideal" growing up. Now I look at that word and think, ideal? What is ideal? Where would I be today if all of that wouldn't have happened? The long story short is this...

My mom has battled with Multiple Sclerosis my entire life, my father had a kidney transplant when I was 13 or so. Between the two of them one or the other was in and out of the hospital my entire life. We had to move when I was 13 from my hometown in Missouri to Indiana and again to another town in Indiana before my junior year in High School. My father is doing well now. My mom on the other hand is a different story. Her health has drastically deteriorated and she is bed ridden. She spends a lot of time in the hospital for bed sores or other issues that arise from being in bed all day long. This isn't even the half of it. And I don't tell any of this as a sob story. I simply share it as background of where I have been and I am with my family. It could easily be said that I was "robbed" of my childhood or that my mothers illness "sucks." But that's my victim story and I am not victim nor is my family.

Truth be told until about 6 months ago I had a really hard time dealing with all of this. It made me so sad that my parents are in the situation they are in, that I can't do the basics with my mom like go shopping or have her pick up the phone when I need to talk. Or that my parents can't hop on a plane to come visit me.

But here is the beauty in all of it and why I am thankful today. My parents are amazingly wonderful people and they created me. All that I am. I am thankful for being here today and if it weren't for them... I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be who I am. I like to think I turned out pretty darn good. :-) I have learned so much from them and for that I am thankful. They taught me compassion - both of them have a heart of gold and would do anything they could to help someone. They taught me perseverance - they have stuck by each other through impossible odds. They taught me respect - I'll be darned if I didn't go say hello to an adult or someone that I knew or let someone finish what they were saying before I talked. They taught me integrity - if I said I was going to do something or commit to something, that was what I was going to do. They taught me love - I always knew I was loved and that they would be by me no matter what. They taught me about life and being there for each other when we fall. Dad always said, if Mom falls down, we all fall down. Still makes me smile.

Most of all and what I realize now is that all that stuff that wasn't "ideal" molded me into what I am today. And what I do know is that because of it I will make a difference in this world. A BIG difference all because of that not so "ideal" stuff. Again, what is "ideal"? I will be able to give back to people and show people that we don't have to be stuck in our pasts, that we don't have to look at where we are now as terrible. That we can break free from it! There is a reason for it all. We may not see it totally, but it is there. If we are not tested in this lifetime, how will we learn? How will we be better? How will we help others? And how will we leave this earth a better place?

While I still shed a tear here and there for my mom and dad, I have made a choice to be strong. Not just for me but for them too. After all they did teach me strength too!

So most of all... I am thankful for my Mom and Dad creating me and allowing me to be a part of their journey.

I love you both dearly!!! You are amazing!