I am thankful for my family, my puppy, my health, my wonderful boyfriend, my friends, pedi's, walks outside, food on the table, a roof over my head, chocolate, ice cream, pei wei, a good book, fun, intriguing conversation, a cozy fire, soft pillows, comfy blankets, sweet dreams... I will spare you from the entire list hehe. There is sooo much to be thankful for this holiday season. It is very easy to take for granted all that we have been blessed with. What are you thankful for this season?
The universe is a funny place. By being thankful for all that you have (even the stuff you don't like so much), you create abundance for yourself. You attract more to be thankful for. I read in a book recently where the author actually kisses her bills as she seals them and says thanks for them. Woa. I don't know about you, but I have never been a fan of bills! They take up my time and my money! When I stopped to think about this, it all made sense. If I show appreciation for even those things that I am not fond of, I will create room for more to be thankful for because I will be creating energy for things that are "good."
This brings me to something that I never thought I would find in my soul to be thankful for - my parents illnesses. Even as I write the word thankful, the thought occurs to me that it still doesn't exactly make sense that I get it now and can have appreciation for it but I do. I just do and it feels so amazingly freeing.
I had a conversation not too long ago with my sister in law about how my childhood maybe wasn't "ideal" growing up. Now I look at that word and think, ideal? What is ideal? Where would I be today if all of that wouldn't have happened? The long story short is this...
My mom has battled with Multiple Sclerosis my entire life, my father had a kidney transplant when I was 13 or so. Between the two of them one or the other was in and out of the hospital my entire life. We had to move when I was 13 from my hometown in Missouri to Indiana and again to another town in Indiana before my junior year in High School. My father is doing well now. My mom on the other hand is a different story. Her health has drastically deteriorated and she is bed ridden. She spends a lot of time in the hospital for bed sores or other issues that arise from being in bed all day long. This isn't even the half of it. And I don't tell any of this as a sob story. I simply share it as background of where I have been and I am with my family. It could easily be said that I was "robbed" of my childhood or that my mothers illness "sucks." But that's my victim story and I am not victim nor is my family.
Truth be told until about 6 months ago I had a really hard time dealing with all of this. It made me so sad that my parents are in the situation they are in, that I can't do the basics with my mom like go shopping or have her pick up the phone when I need to talk. Or that my parents can't hop on a plane to come visit me.
But here is the beauty in all of it and why I am thankful today. My parents are amazingly wonderful people and they created me. All that I am. I am thankful for being here today and if it weren't for them... I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be who I am. I like to think I turned out pretty darn good. :-) I have learned so much from them and for that I am thankful. They taught me compassion - both of them have a heart of gold and would do anything they could to help someone. They taught me perseverance - they have stuck by each other through impossible odds. They taught me respect - I'll be darned if I didn't go say hello to an adult or someone that I knew or let someone finish what they were saying before I talked. They taught me integrity - if I said I was going to do something or commit to something, that was what I was going to do. They taught me love - I always knew I was loved and that they would be by me no matter what. They taught me about life and being there for each other when we fall. Dad always said, if Mom falls down, we all fall down. Still makes me smile.
Most of all and what I realize now is that all that stuff that wasn't "ideal" molded me into what I am today. And what I do know is that because of it I will make a difference in this world. A BIG difference all because of that not so "ideal" stuff. Again, what is "ideal"? I will be able to give back to people and show people that we don't have to be stuck in our pasts, that we don't have to look at where we are now as terrible. That we can break free from it! There is a reason for it all. We may not see it totally, but it is there. If we are not tested in this lifetime, how will we learn? How will we be better? How will we help others? And how will we leave this earth a better place?
While I still shed a tear here and there for my mom and dad, I have made a choice to be strong. Not just for me but for them too. After all they did teach me strength too!
So most of all... I am thankful for my Mom and Dad creating me and allowing me to be a part of their journey.
I love you both dearly!!! You are amazing!
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